"I have a lot of good moments, but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan."

Eric Cantona's great, isn't he? There are a lot of things I hate about football, but Cantona isn't one of them. And I thought that, since the tone of this blog might be unpalatably acerbic for some, it might be worth showing a little generosity of spirit by talking about something I'm prepared to endorse.



"Clever of you, Rosbif."

He was the classiest thug, I always thought. Sure, he had a propensity for violence and, shall we say, 'authority issues', but he always seemed to channel his seismic fury in the right direction - directly into Evil's smirking face. So let's celebrate his greatest achievement as a footballer - nay, as a man.

In January 1995, during a match between Crystal Palace, Manchester United and Eric Cantona, the Furious Frenchman expressed his opinion of the opposition supporters in the most eloquent manner he could think of: flying kick to the chest. This might seem at first glance like a glaring contradiction of everything I've said on the subject before, but know this: Eric, in his wisdom, can see further than other men.

Because, as it turns out, Matthew Simmons, the honoured recipient of Cantona's gift of agony, was no-one's idea of an innocent bystander. His prior involvement with the National Front and BNP was dredged up by the tabloids, as was his conviction for spannering a Sri Lankan during an armed robbery.

Certainly, the man had paid whatever penance the law required from him, but it didn't appear to have softened his temperament any. That day he descended from his seat to the front of the stands, right behind the advertising hoardings, and he invited the "French motherfucker" to "Fuck off back to France." 

The reaction he got wasn't entirely unpredictable.

"Non."

It's difficult to argue with that. It's especially difficult if a frenchman is punching your head, as Simmons came to realise. And it becomes immeasurably more tricky still if, when in court for the sole purpose of 'arguing with that', you aim a flying kick at the prosecutor. That only works for Cantona, you buffoon.

But for every Matthew Simmons, there are countless more abusive fans, footballers, managers and corner flags that behave outrageously and with impunity. Eric Cantona showed that this behaviour isn't acceptable and, somehow, he showed it by behaving even worse.

And that, I think, is amazing.